Celia Brews It Over

I drove up to San Antonio the next time and we went to Six Flags and had a blast. I hadn't been to an amusement park in such a long time! & there weren't any awkward silences when we were waiting for our time slots for our next rides. Who knew that was possible. We stayed sober this weekend as well.


Here's what I'm learning (the positives):
-I can connect with someone & us stay completely sober & we still have fun.
-I deserve to be with someone who thinks of me when planning activities, just as I'll think of them.
-I deserve to be with someone who isn't afraid to think about the future. Whether it is months away, or ya know the weekend that's just a couple days away. I don't have to hear "that's too far out." or "f*ck plans."
-Not every guy is allergic to cats. & when they really like you and know your cat isn't just a pet, they'll make sure that your kitty is just as comfortable as you are. He purchased the essentials that Angel would need so that when I travel to San Antonio, Angel comes with me.
-I can find someone who believes in being the best version of yourself everyday and setting an example for those around you and actually lives the lifestyle.
-There are guys out there that want to do more than just drink. They enjoy the outdoors with you, nature hikes, gardens, sports, tailgating, and like the nerdy things like museums, zoos and art exhibits.
-There's someone I like that I actually wanted to bring home to Mom & Dad and didn't have to question how their behavior might be. I didn't feel the need to be overprotective of my parents.

Here's what I'm learning (the red flags):
-He's a Dallas Cowboys Fan
-He's a Spurs Fan
-He's a Texas Rangers Fan
-He's not a University of Houston Cougar!

Hopefully you caught that the above is written completely in humor. But my goodness we couldn't be more opposite with the teams we support if we tried! 

Here's what I'm thankful for during this time:
The calmness and comfort level between the two of us.
Angel and #Spurs love each other. Last time I was there Angel fell asleep in #Spur's arms and even had his little paw on his neck.
I love that we can talk about any subject and neither of us is afraid to tell the other that we have no idea what they're talking about, and we don't feel dumb about it.
We both feel like we can be ourselves 100% and we embrace each other's quirks and try to understand how each other came to be in this exact moment.
We have both done personal development and therapy, therefore are well educated in healthy behaviors and how to treat others with clear boundaries and respect.

...this story is still being written. :)


Until next time. XO,
Cel

I remember talking to my Life Coach one night super upset. I felt so judged by a couple people around me for talking to/dating #DrummerBoy so quickly after I broke things off with #CarGuy.

Sure I had sworn off guys, even said I didn't think I could ever date again. I was solely focusing on myself. But holy crap #DrummerBoy swept me off my feet the night we met and it was so unexpected. I don't believe in pushing away a possible love interest. People come into our lives for a reason, right? 

That night Sally gave me the best advice and it just clicked! If you don't want to date, don't. If you like a guy, go for it. If he screws up... Ok, his loss, back to doing things you like. Don't make it more complex than that.  

Moral of the story was for me to do me, screw what other people thought I should do.


She was excited for me because when I broke things off with #CarGuy I told her immediately my walls went up so high. So when I told her I had met someone she knew that I wasn't completely closing myself off from finding my love again.

Even when things started going south with #DrummerBoy she was my biggest cheerleader. He started to push me away, which I learned in my Al-Anon group is super common. I was upset and she told me "Just let him go. He's pushing you away and that's on him. Nothing to do with you."  Those words were just what I needed to hear in that moment.

Sometimes your friends and family can't be there for you, they're too involved. This is where I'm thankful for having my Life Coach. She understood what I needed in that moment.

Rumor has it she's working on a dating book. I can't wait to read that. I've read both of her other books and was laughing all the way through, even had some hard tears on some occasions.

I'll chat more about my personal experience with Life Coaching soon, so be on the look out!

xo,
Cel

My parents graduated last week from the Dickinson Police Department Citizen's Police Academy (DCPA) and I couldn't be more proud. I loved seeing their friends show up and support them. This was a big deal. They're well known in their community and I'm happy to see them become a bigger more engaged part of it. They even joined the alumni organization!

Of course, everyone is asking when I'm going to do it, but that's about a 50mi + commute for me to attend a class mid-week! We will see. Maybe I'll join one that is local to my current community.

Two. 


You've been hearing about #Spurs lately, and now you finally get to see him. ;) Next week you'll get to "meet" him. This guy had the best weekend planned for us. I really wish I would have taken more photos. Since we will be spending more time in each other's cities I was thinking about doing little series covering the places that we pick to explore and show off our cities...

Friday evening he took me to Hotel Emma which is stunning! They have a beautiful library inside along with a gorgeous bar, which has a large whiskey selection. If you like the glam industrial vibe, you need to visit.

Afterwards we went to La Gloria for margaritas, I mean dinner... & I'm pretty sure I stopped listening after margaritas but the outdoor area was so pretty. Like heart eyes pretty & the evening wasn't too humid. The food was delish & I needed a friend to come help me finish my margarita!

Three. 


I'm a sucker for graffiti/colorful walls and the next place he took me to has the famous I love you tacos so much wall!!!!! Eep!

Four. 


Saturday we went to the Japanese Gardens, which is so so so pretty! Then we headed off to the San Antonio Botanical Garden where they had a whole area of nothing but cacti and an entire walking trail of cacti. I was in heaven! I'm pretty sure we explored every trail they had, we almost died of allergies in one area and we were so exhausted by the end of the day.

Five. 


On Wednesday I was surprised with a special delivery to my office. I've never received just because flowers before. They're so pretty and smell amazing! I also had chocolates and bath stuff. I'm becoming so spoiled!

One last thing! I'm hosting an online Tupperware party. I lurve containers and all things kitchen, so I thought I would share with my friends too. If you're interested in joining, click here. The group is private so nothing will show up in your timeline. :) 

See y'all next week! Enjoy the long weekend!

xo,
Cel

Let me know if you try any of these! I would love to hear from you.

xo,
Cel

I sat down one evening this past week and gave myself an at home mani/pedi. It was so relaxing. I recently got into watching How To Get Away With Murder, oh my goodness that show is crazy! I love it! So I had a little girls night in for one! I'm in love with Jamberry's Lacquers, this one went on super thick and smooth. Sometimes with white polishes I've needed three coats and I only needed two here. Yippee! Link to this color here.

Two. 


I've been in a little funk lately, so an empty gym this past week was exactly what I needed! The only thing my gym is missing is a bike. I can't stand treadmills or ellipticals.

Three. 


I visited my parents last weekend, #Spurs came with & so far he's passed the parental test. I came back home with a dozen eggs from their chickens and I only have two left! Eep! If you're local to my hometown area and want fresh farm eggs let me know and I'll get you in contact with my Mom.

Four. 


I'm still enjoying the heck out of my balcony time. Now that the weather has warmed up I've noticed a couple ladies have been pool side reading when I get home. I thought about joining them, but the introvert in me likes the solitude I get from my balcony! Ha!

Five. 


My parents gifted me a cow last weekend, Oreo. Then before I even got to meet her traded her for a more valuable cow. *Sigh* That's the cattle biz I guess.

I'm headed off to San Antonio for the weekend & #Spurs has surprise plans for the weekend! He's told me what to wear and to leave the rest up to him. If you know me and how much I plan, then you'll know that this is actually kinda nice, and I could get a little spoiled with him planning things!

Have a wonderful weekend & I'll see ya here next week!

xo,
Cel

This is my favorite time saving app! Do you ever have one of those days that you have a ton to do at home, it's def a PJ/yoga pant day but you also desperately need to go grocery shopping? Enter Instacart!

 All you do is pull the app up on your phone, create your account, enter in your address and voila! it shows you all the grocery stores in your area that work with Instacart! You guys, there's even a few liquor stores that have partnered up with instacart! Hello! Game changer! Have you ever been prepping for a party and you need to hurry and snag that alcohol?



I've used instacart a few times since moving into my new place but the time I was most thankful for it was after my return from New York. Gosh that trip wore me out and since I was gone for about a week I had eaten myself out of my apartment. I had a couple bottles of water in the fridge, a lemon, a lime, and condiments... I desperately need groceries. I opened my app. Ordered groceries to be delivered in two hours and napped until my phone told me my shopper was on her way to delivery my groceries!!!!! Gah I was so thankful that evening!

The only problem I've had is once my shopper must have never shopped produce for themselves because it wasn't the best selection. I made do. Other than that one time I've had no issues.

If you use my link you'll receive $10 towards your groceries AND free delivery off your first order. You can sign up to be a yearly member and then your delivery is always free, but this membership cost varies by area.



* I am using referral links, so I will earn a penny here and there if you use my link to sign up. :)

I hope this helps! & let me know if you give it a try!  :)

xo,
Cel

As soon as my ex-husband and I separated I started dating my best guy friend, and my ex went public with #HomeWrecker. ( <-- in case you're new here, this is what she called herself. )

Dating my best guy friend just seemed natural. We were already super close, we had a great time when we hung out and he supported me in my career, educational, and physical goals.

I had told my therapist about us and she was happy I had him in my life but also wanted to prepare me that he could be just for now. It was likely that he was my transitional "relationship". Often when you separate/divorce your first "relationship" is just there to help you transition.

I told her we were taking it slow, seeing where it went, but I also didn't want to believe that this was just a transitional "relationship". This was my closest guy friend, at this point it would mean if the relationship ended then I would lose the friendship as well.

I fell for him and then had to pull my head out of the clouds and choose myself again. 

Early on things went pretty well, if I wasn't with my parents or best friend I was with him. I went through a time that I didn't really eat (I dropped over 40lbs in about 6wks) and when we were out he always ordered appetizers or food that I could pick off of. I felt safe when I was with him.

We had our first fight and because we had so much to drink I don't even know what it was about. I just remember coming to and I was crying, I was walking around my apartment parking lot and on the phone with my best friend expressing how upset I was. This is probably when I should have ended everything, but I was a mess of emotions. She had called him & instead of trying to console me he told her I just needed to sleep it off. Then he blocked me from being able to communicate with him. Asshole move.

A few days later we met up to talk it out, a little hard considering that neither of us really knew why we got into an argument. During this conversation he had told me that he wasn't ready for "all that lovey dovey stuff" it was too soon, we were at about 6 months in at this time. In my therapist's eyes, he was saying he wasn't interested in a relationship & I needed to walk away. 

Fast forward towards the end. His friends (usually girls) would ask me what we were because they would ask him and he wouldn't give them a straight answer. Honestly, I couldn't tell them either. We never really had a talk. Just agreed that we weren't sleeping with anyone else. In 2017 does that mean you're in a relationship? Most of the time he introduced me as his friend, & usually it was only his coworkers and bosses that referenced me as his girlfriend.

After I had broken things off, his friends told me "he just told us 'we broke up' " to which I thought, oh, okay, we were in a relationship... because you can't break up if you're not. 

Looking back I kind of wish we would have waited to date, because I feel like he only had a shell of who I am. Immediately following a separation/divorce there are a lot of emotions flying around. I also called him my ex-husband's name at the most inopportune time. Even though my therapist had told me that this was normal and was likely to happen at this point, I still felt horrible about it.


Here's what I learned from this relationship (red flags): 
- If a guy yo-yo's you or you have to question his interest, he's not interested. Or he's only interested in the sex. 
- If a guy tells you he's an alcoholic/addict, is in recovery, has been in recovery, and he is still drinking/using. He can't truly love/care for you. He just isn't capable. You'll always come second to the drugs/alcohol.(You can read my post about Al-Anon here)
- If a guy tells you he's not ready for the lovey-dovey stuff, but he's still having sex with you. He's not ready for or looking for a relationship. 
- If you catch them getting dating app notifications / sliding into other girl's DMs and they tell you "you're trippin'" and they're just f*cking with people. They're not being loyal. & why would you want to be with someone who takes joy in playing with other people's feelings anyway?  
-If their closest friends don't know if you're friends with benefits, dating, or in a relationship. Red freakin' flag. 
-If girls start freaking out on you about defining the relationship odds are there's something going on there. 
-If he takes the side of other women when drama starts up, (see above) end it.
 
Here's what I learned from this relationship (the positives): 
- Not every second of my time has to be planned. 
- Being spontaneous can have a day/weekend end with having the best time. 
- I gained back confidence with my own sexuality. 
- When a guy truly likes you, he takes the time/effort to learn all the little things.  
- It's okay to sleep in, to stay in bed all day, and it's definitely okay to take time for you.  
- Get quiet and listen to your intuition. - This was one thing #CarGuy was freakishly good at. He is actually one of the first people to speak up about my own red-flags, personally and within my marriage, to which my friends, family and co-workers confirmed.

Here is what I was thankful for during this time: 
Sure this wasn't the healthiest of relationships to jump into. I felt yo-yo'd and had anxiety over where this was going, if I cared where this was going, and about the fact that I'd be losing my friend. BUT I am thankful that I got my wild (to me) side out with him. I never feared for my safety and no matter what I did, I did them with him and it wasn't a string of men a mile long. I never felt like I was being irresponsible with my body. Sure, my liver may have taken a beatin' but I never got to have fun like everyone else when I was younger.
Although he wasn't able to emotionally support me the way I wish he would have this forced me to turn to my family and female support system. It also forced me to sometimes just be strong for myself. I can't tell you how many times that huge dolphin got me through some of my roughest nights. So although he may not have always been there physically for me, that gift was one of my most prized possessions at the time.

I get asked by many if #CarGuy and I are still friends. Not really. I feel like maybe we tried shortly after but then neither of us really made any additional effort. I unfollowed him from any social media channels in order to give myself the opportunity to completely disconnect from him. & I didn't know how quickly he'd get back into dating and if he would post about it, I needed to make sure that I protected myself emotionally.

They say everything happens when it is supposed to and for a reason. 11 days later I would meet the next guy I'd date.

xo,
Cel

My tailgating crew is planning a summer get-together for next month and I'm sooo excited! This group has stuck by my side over the last 18 months and gave me an outlet to just be! If you're in Houston, a fan of the University of Houston Cougars & looking for a group to have a good time with let me know, we would love to have you come tailgate with us this next season!

Two. 


When I moved into my new place I didn't realize with taller ceilings you would need things like longer shower curtains. My old ones were hilarious to try to shower with. I'm surprised I didn't have a puddle of water on the ground each day. Oh well, it gave me a reason to order a cacti shower curtain and I'm SO in love with it! I'm obsessed with cacti and I'm trying real hard not to order all the cacti things for my place.


Three.

I'm currently reading The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engle. This book was recommended to me by my therapist after learning all the details of my marriage/divorce, my "relationship" with #CarGuy and my dating adventures with #DrummerBoy.

To be honest, I never considered myself a nice girl. My ex-husband used to always call me a b*tch anytime I spoke up for myself, other women, or expressed a different view point. So, eventually I believed it.

At the beginning of this book she has a list of about 20 questions to see if this book is for you. I answered yes to nearly all of them. Heartbreaking.

This has been a slow read for me because there are some chapters that it seems as if she is talking directly to me. The description of the person or the situation was horrifyingly similar.

Working on myself has been wonderful and I will continue to do it for the rest of my life, but boy oh boy I tell ya sometimes it is hard to stare the things you need to work on straight in the face!

Four. 



I snagged these shoes at Five Below to wear on a date with #Spurs to Six Flags San Antonio. (You first heard about him here.) Let me tell ya, these shoes were a hit! I had so many people stop to ask me where I got my shoes! & to think I almost didn't snag them because I really wanted cacti shoes! Now I want all the pineapple things too!

Five. 


2017 was a year I laid low. I allowed myself to heal, and slowly rediscover myself. One thing that never changed was my desire to travel. Last November I decided I was done waiting to experience life with someone and I was going to live life for myself. I contacted my girls who live in Jersey and NY, looked at Southwest's low fares calendar and booked myself a vacation to go to the city I dreamed of visiting since I was a little girl! I'll have a full post coming up about my experience next week!

Cheers to the weekend, I'm counting down the hours until #Spurs gets into town tonight!

xo,
Cel