Celia Brews It Over

Not even two weeks after I got my first tattoo at Mainline Ink, I was back to see Becca for my second tattoo.

It was the eve of my divorce finalization and my best-friend had come down to have dinner and spend the night with me because she was going to attend my court date with me.

We went to dinner first, dinner. I had told her about the amazing strawberry margarita at LongHorn Steakhouse along with their Molten Lava Cake. We had to have both. Mistake y'all. We should have shared the margarita and we should have eaten something to coat our stomachs because holy sugar overload!

Afterwards we went by Torchy's to grab a taco. The guy I was dating at the time, #CarGuy, happened to be there, but I got the cold shoulder. This should have been a major red flag for me...

Aiko and I had been talking about this tattoo. I knew I wanted something with a bird and a cage, something that symbolized me breaking away, something to remind me that I am free & to never allow myself to be controlled again. We had searched pinterest for some ideas and then came up with a blend of our own.

We found the perfect birdcage and birdie flying out, then we came up with having the bird cage hanging off of the word "Libre" , Spanish for Free. It was perfect!

We messaged Becca to see if she could get me in that night and I stalked my phone like crazy! I needed this tattoo. Boop. Becca messaged back that she was free! Whoo!

Y'all. I thought this tattoo would be easier. But, I guess since my emotions were already pretty high, and I was overloaded with sugar I threw up, and blacked out for a moment. My best-friend and Becca had accidentally hit me with the trashcan and I didn't feel it or remember it. Ha! I also think I forgot to breathe for a little bit. Remember to breathe, y'all!


I have a couple other tattoos that I want but design and placement isn't nailed down yet. Also, I don't want to pass out or throw up again! Ha!

One night, at the end of a good girl's night out I walked into Mainline Ink and got my very first tattoo with two of my best girls by my side literally holding my hand.

My tattoo artist, Becca, was the sweetest and made me feel so welcomed and at ease! I couldn't have asked for a better first experience. 

I remember as she started thinking oh my goodness this is happening, this is real, I am going to have a tattoo on my body for the rest of my life!  Ouch, ouch, ouch, and it was over. Whew! I sat with Aiko as she got her semicolon tattoo as well. Then when Shellie was talking to them about an idea she had, I had to sit again because I got light headed, and had a bit of the cold sweats!

The semi colon is to raise awareness on mental health. It means your story is not over yet for anyone who self harms or with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and PTSD. You are the author of your own story.

The Ampersand is a broken infinity that reminds people nothing lasts forever, but there's always an AND. A symbol of hope, optimism, and mystery. A reminder to live in the present.

Although not vocalized, because mental health just isn't something our society talks about openly, I've always been an advocate for mental health. There are so many people who need help and are either afraid to ask for it or they just can't afford it. It is no different than someone having a toothache, we should be making sure that we are taking care of our minds too. 

...but here comes the full story on why I chose these as my first tattoos. When I met up with Shellie & Aiko that night I asked them if I could tell them something. I had been contemplating suicide for a few days. I laid on my couch thinking I had some pretty sharp knives in my kitchen. The pain I was feeling inside was like nothing I ever felt before. My heart was beyond broken, my life shattered to pieces, & I had messages on my phone from #HomeWrecker apologizing to me for falling in love with my husband, promising that she didn't leave her husband for mine despite how it looked, and not knowing how she was going to one day come clean to her family that she fell in love with another woman's husband. (I actually came across these messages on my phone the other night while I was looking for photos of my place when I first moved in to write my One Year of Living on My Own post. I've come a long way.)

Anyway, I was looking for a way to end my pain. Nothing I usually do to make myself feel better was working. Suicide sounded like a good option. This way, no one would have to worry about me anymore. I mentioned to them that I thought about getting a tattoo, that maybe the pain of getting a tattoo would momentarily ease the pain that I was feeling. Plus, my ex-husband had always told me he would divorce me if I ever got one. Both girls said "lets do it!" and Shellie found us a tattoo shop to go to at the end of the night! 

I get asked about my tattoos a lot and I love being able to bring light to mental health each time. Even if its just for the moment.