If you're new here you can follow my divorce story here:
Between Us:
After going through my own divorce, I'm convince the party that says "oh, it's a very civil divorce, we are on good terms." is the asshole.
I did not waste any time changing my name back to my maiden name.
Of course when this happened people slowly started asking if it meant what they thought it meant. I would have mutual friends tell me that he was saying we were still good friends, it was mutual and we were civil. Goodness, if his behavior was civil I would hate to see what he considered awful.
During the divorce process our relationship wasn't good. Every call ended in us arguing. Screaming matches. I think we had one good conversation during those months. Other than him not having the ability to just show up and come in at my apartment, I still dealt with the same issues as I had during our separation. & with every call and ever text I would start shaking uncontrollably.
I also had the #HomeWrecker calling/texting me. Asking me if his behaviors were normal, telling me about their sex life, trying to convince me to take him back, confirming if our divorce was finalized because he had already told her it was when it wasn't, & asking if I felt she would become me. Spoiler alert, she did become me. He had option B lined up before our divorce was even finalized.
Between me and the Lawyer:
I was very lucky. I had a great lawyer. He told me what my rights were and told me what I could fight for based upon the evidence I had. Which was everything.
But honestly, after nearly 12 years of this relationship. I was done fighting. I just wanted to walk.
When we sat down on February 11th I was ready to just walk away completely. During this conversation, my ex, although he didn't want it in the divorce decree had promised in front of my lawyer to split things 50/50. It was only right, I had been paying for everything just as he was. All our money went into one account and bills were payed from my paycheck.
Although it wasn't the greatest meeting, I walked away with just my car and the things I had personally purchased prior to marriage, feeling hopeful.
My lawyer kept the documents with him until the last possible second, just in case I had changed my mind and wanted to legally fight for what was mine.
The End Result:
Always include everything in the divorce decree. Don't let your spouse emotionally manipulate you.
I had signed documents to help speed up the sale of our marital home. He walked away with the money from the sale and didn't give me a dime.
I had to fight for the money on my VW to the very last second and penny. I had assumed the loan and the debt & if it wasn't for the fact that a mutual friend got involved and turned my car in for me, I wasn't going to get any of the money from my car. He still kept my final payment that the bank had deposited back into our account. Gotta love when a bank lets your spouse withdraw all the funds and close the joint account.
Joint accounts. When your lawyer tells you to take half the money in your accounts. Take half the money. I didn't want to do so until after I had spoken to my ex. Major mistake on my part. As much as I thought he would be fair. He spent the money and drained the accounts and left me with about $1k.
Taxes. He took my financial documents and filed our taxes jointly. Even though our divorce decree stated that we were to file separately. I should have fought him on this. Instead of getting money back, I ended up having to pay a good chunk of money.
Our divorce was finalized on May 5th, Cinco de Mayo! As much as friends wanted to celebrate and be like whoooooo single life! I was just relieved and happy it was over. The ordeal with Volkswagen was over in October of 2017 and y'all I could finally block him on everything. I no longer needed to accept any of his calls, or emails. I eventually had to block his Mom's phone number as well because he was calling my office from her line.
I could finally breathe!
